PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
Randomize
