his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize
