my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
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