Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
Randomize
