Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize
