So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
Brb crying the tears of my youth
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
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