Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
