Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
Randomize
