Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize
