Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize
