Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
