We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
I DEMAND FORESKIN
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
