I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
Randomize
