i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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