fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
