It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
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