How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
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