My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
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