He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
In America we eat man semen.
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
Randomize
