Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
