I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
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