I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
