Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
