What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
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