My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
Randomize
