You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
She has the best kind of daddy issues
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