Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
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