I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Randomize
