I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
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