he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
i need some magic done to my vagina
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
