I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
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