he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Randomize
