You're my little dorito
Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
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