I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
We need a shit load of segways right now
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
Randomize
