So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
So many bounce houses so little time
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
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