It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
i need to put some appletini on your dick
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
Randomize
