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• (818): View more from California

  Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?

  (770): View more from Georgia

  I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.

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• (425): View more from Washington

  There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.

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• (419): View more from Ohio

  I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.

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• (780): View more from Alberta, CA

  Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.

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• (516): View more from New York

  I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line

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• (805): View more from California

  Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?

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• (307): View more from Wyoming

  I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.

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• (253): View more from Washington

  Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"

  (425): View more from Washington

  You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk

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• (503): View more from Oregon

  But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"

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• (818): View more from California

  ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?

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• (618): View more from Illinois

  Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.

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• (918): View more from Oklahoma

  I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.

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• (720): View more from Colorado

  I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?

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• (704): View more from North Carolina

  Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"

  (1-704): View more from North Carolina

  That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.

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• (856): View more from New Jersey

  Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day

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