Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize
