I have demons in me.
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize
