...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
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