and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
Randomize
