Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
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