Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
