Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Randomize
