you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
