she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
Randomize