I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
Randomize
