Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
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