the new term for farting is butt boxing.
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
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