You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
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