Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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