Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
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