Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
They left me at home... I'm a liability
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
