Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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