We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
Randomize
