Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
