I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
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