just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
Randomize
