It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
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