Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
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