Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
Drake has all the answers
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
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