3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
Randomize