it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
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