Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
it's like heaven, but drunker
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
Randomize