I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
Randomize
