Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
