whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
Randomize
