my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
Randomize
