Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
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