Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
