So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
tequila makes me forget i have legs
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
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