so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
I need to align my fucking chakras
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Randomize
