Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Randomize
