There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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