my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
