SEEEEXXX PLEASE
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
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