the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
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