i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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