So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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